Sort of Like a Seal But Way Cuter

If you're wondering where the hell I've been, I've been trying not to whine to the interwebs about the terrible last few days I've had as a single parent living with in-laws who are actually helping -- which makes for absolutely no good blog posts.

Aside from feeling like a total failure, I've yelled at my daughter twice for waking up my son, pulled some weird muscle in my shoulder from not being able to put said 19lb son down for longer than 15 minutes, and broke down in tears three times.

Exciting stuff here at The Mom Trap.

But better, my son is hoarse. I have no idea why, but today after I went out to a quiet joyous kidless birthday lunch with my BFF, I came back to find him sounding like a little seal. Except with no weird cough or anything that might indicate illness.

Which then led me to believe (I know, my brilliant parenting and deduction skills are unmatched) that he cried.

The whole time I was gone.

He was with my mom who said he didn't cry, but his big red eyes, and well, TOTAL HOARSENESS sort of gave it away. He's had a little cold with a runny nose, but nothing that would indicate chest congestion or um, A COUGH, so I'm assuming he literally lost his voice.

Of course, just to be safe, I've googled "Newborn Hoarseness" about 14 times -- which aside from scaring the crap out of me has indicated that he's either got bad reflux (which I sort of knew but was hoping wouldn't manifest into his almost total silence) or

Cried a lot.

I'm going with the latter.

And then she told me he cried the whole entire way home from his walk. Which could have been 5 minutes or 20. Sadly, I'm thinking 20 although I guess I find out tomorrow and the rest of the week if he's still hoarse.

So, I've taken to calling him Bonnie Raitt. Or better, Dicky Barrett (remember him?).

It's sort of cute.

And I can't hear him cry. Which might not actually be such a bad thing.

So aside from the fact that I feel like I can't leave him with my mother for any extended period of time, he has no voice and I'm in total fear that he has a weird disease or the coughless croup, and that I can't put him down AT ALL now, I'm great.

Groovy in fact.

Thanks for asking.

Comments

[Christina]

Well, at least he's young enough that if he did cry the entire time, he won't remember it.

And compared to something being really wrong, I hope it's just a case of crying a little too hard that made him lose his voice. Poor guy - hope you're all better soon.

[Amy]

You know, you always wonder if the baby will cry itself hoarse...I never knew it would actually happen. Poor guy! What's worse is the denial that he cried at all...or for how long. Crikey.

[Amanda]

Poor guy... and poor you! You need some stability and some HELP! I'm sorry I can't offer it to you!

I do wonder about you, though. If it makes you feel better.

*hugs*

[jaelithe]

Well, just remember, you survived your mother's care (or lack thereof) as a newborn.

At least, that's what I tried to tell myself when I left my then week-old son with my mother for 20 minutes while I took a shower and came back to find him in his bassinet completely surrounded by blankets and plush animals, including a small elephant that had been stuffed around his head.

"Babies sleep better when you put something soft around their head!"

Right, mom. *sigh*

[dana]

When I'd ask my parents to watch Dawson when he was little, just for an hour, they'd never change his diaper and then he'd cry and my mom would say, "No baby ever died from crying. I don't want to spoil him."

It used to infuriate me, so I denied them baby time for a month. I think they got the hint.

[Jodi]

I know the feeling. while giving birth to my daughter I sliped a disc in my back and had surgery when she was six weeks old. My husband was out of work since she was two weeks old and it took alot out of him traveling to find work. I would lay in pain and yell for him to help me up change the baby and what ever else I needed him to do. I think there were times where he was thinking the baby will survive if I roll over and sleep for 20 mins. leaving me in pain to try and get up and care for the baby or to continue to yell for him. I finally resorted to going and staying with my mom and leaving him with the other three kids. She helped with the baby and I could actually sleep in a bed since I could not do stairs at my house to get to the bed. I recovered from surgery there too. It probably saved my marriage to be with my mom. I love my husband but lets just say he better be the one to go first because I know he won't be taking care of me or our children. Me and the baby are doing fine now I recovered and continue to nurse through all of our rough spots. The baby survived he hoarseness at times even know it was killing me. I think he will come through I know it took every thing out of me to hear her cry and not be physically able to get up and take care of her. Good luck with things.

[Sunshine2006]

Kristen you are far from alone. I went through almost the same type of situation and finally figured it out. My daughter cried non stop barely slept when she was with us but as soon as she was at my mom's house she slept for hours. What the???? Hmmmmmmmmmm. I asked myself what is the difference. I was also in a lot of pain from birth of my daughter. There were a couple of differences that I finally figured out.

House temperature was the key one. My hormones had me on fire for a long time after birth of my daughter. I cranked up the a/c to try to control my severe sweats. Needless to say, I was freezing my daughter. So I put a freezing cold wash cloth on the back of my neck to reduce the heat extracting from my body. My body could then actually feel what my daughter was feeling.

The 2nd key factor was feeding. I was told that my daughter had GERD with all the crying. Nope - she was hungry. I tried to follow the guidelines but it was way off for my daughter. I increased her feeding and changed her type of formula to Good Start Supreme (don't know what I would have done without Good Start Supreme). Try feeding heavy type of foods versus light foods that will help keep him full to stay asleep longer. Grandma's know the secret b/c they are feeding what the experts tell us not to. The heavy foods.

The 3rd key factor was to duplicate the sleeping area that my mom had. For some reason my daughter slept great in the bassinet that my mom had but didn't sleep at all in her crib. Too much space in the crib. Try to duplicate bedding, lighting, noise, and the way that your mom puts your son down. We learned that we have to keep our hand at the back of our daughters head for a couple of minutes after laying her down then she off to sleep for the rest of the night.

I too cried and thought was was wrong with me. I don't know a mother alive that didn't cry out of control. Who wouldn't? Now that it's out of your system, take the time to evaluate how what your mom does and duplicate it. That's what mom's are for, to learn from. Just as your son will learn from you.

For your older daughter - let her help. Ask her to pick out your son's outfits? At the store, ask her if she was a baby what toy do you think she would like, then buy that toy for your son. She will fill so proud that she's making choices. Instead of screaming at your daughter for being what kids do and that is making noises, ask her to use her inside voice while your son is sleeping. And my favorite one is my saying of "You wake, you take." Post signs at the front door and every room. When someones voice is too loud, point to the sign and you'll be 100% amazed on just how quick they will lower their voice.

Don't try to be the super mom that we all mom's think we are expected to be. Find ways to relieve your stress with a long bath. If you are trying to record all the first with writing - skip it and leave voice messages on your home voice mail. Save the messages for a moment that you might actually get sometime down the road and type them. It's a lot quicker. Also have a camera around. I took lots of pixs of the special memories that I wanted to record. I just developed 300 pixs after 10 months and know exactly what each pix represents.

With a little evaluation of where, who, what, and when the situation will get better and before you know it he will be off to school. Best of luck.

From been there,

Sunshine 2006.