That they insist on smushing into jeans that don't really fit but they don't really care since they're sick of wearing the same pair of too big maternity pants but then they can't really breathe or wear shirts that are the right size since you can then see the smush through the shirt which is kind of worse than actually seeing the smush and if someone stuck their finger in their belly button it might actually get lodged in there because the fat rolls are pushed so tightly together and they have to talk in one long sentence because if they took another breath they would potentially pop their very precious only size 12 pair of regular pants that would actually close.
Oh. And they can't sit down.
Real Moms. Making flab fabulous since the beginning of time.
(Here's how it works: Put up a post "Real Moms [insert what you do here]", followed by an explanation (feel free to use more sentences than just one run-on one like me), a picture, and a "Real Moms. Making ....". Then tag five people.
And let me know. I'll link them up here! and on that new blog Real Mom Truths in my side bar. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I'm pleased to be hosting Crankmama and author Erika Schickel (You're Not the Boss of Me) on the radio show tomorrow night (Tuesday 9-10pm EST). We'll be chatting about the alterna/hipsta parent phenomenon, as well as the new breed of momoirs. I hope you'll be able to join us and share in the discussion! (646) 915-8634 to call in -- you can listen via the media player on the site. Subscribe to the feed and listen via iTunes!
You can find all the Real Mom Truths here.