Not Just Another Momoir

Is it a mom-brain thing or do you hate it when you can't think of someone's name that you know and you sit and obsess over it and can't do anything else for the life of you until you think of their name?

Well, that's what happened when I was asked to review Erika Schickel's book You're Not the Boss of Me.Granted, I have no idea who she is (even though I spoke with her last night on the radio show and she rocks it hard --> go now and listen --> see that button on the right side bar. Yep. Press it!). But she did do a guest spot on "The Practice" and I sat for hours trying to remember the episode.

Seriously. I need to get a life.

Anyway, her book chronicles her adventures as a mother, spousal unit, actress, and woman, amongst other things (sexual being. hello.) in a sort of disjunct sort of way. I use disjunct with love -- at first, I was taken aback by it, as a couple of other reviewers were as well, but then I figured, why do things have to flow perfectly in order by time, date, and experience? Hell. Motherhood er... life certainly isn't like that --  it's a crazy ride with ups and downs and total randomness.

Her book, however, is not random. It's refreshing for something that might be lumped into the whole "alterna/hipster" momoir genre. Sure she gets lap dances at a strip joint and smokes pot. But she doesn't ride the "bad = good" or the "omg I'm a mom omg" thing one bit. Her funny is not forced and her f-bombs are not strategically placed for effect. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

I was actually pretty surprised. I guess I had geared up for the whole "riding a bull while double fisting beers in my black ripped tee" type essays -- when really, they were more "I paid for two lap dances from a hot stripper" -- way more realistic. I mean, what mom can ride a bull with beers in their hands?

Heh.

Her essays go from touching to hilarious to shocking and everything in between. I was delighted to see a softer side, something I think that many of the momoirs of the above mentioned type do not do. We're not all drunks all the time. We're not all punk rockers all the time. We're not cool all the time. And guess what? We're not moms all the time -- well, I mean we are, but we've got other facets to our beings that don't have to do with those little rats we popped out of our va-hoo-hoos.

I love that she drives a mini-van and I love that she got excited with a disposable diaper after using cloth diapers. And I love that she talks about women's curves and her pussy belly (you know, the pooch) in a way that's not abrasive, but rather, inviting and honest. I love her because she allows the reader to not be afraid to just be the mom and woman we think we should be as opposed who we think everyone else thinks we should be.

And, she makes me want to tell my story. Or at least keep telling it. I mean, that's what this blog (and the other 14) are for, I guess.

If you'd like to win my copy of Erika Schickel's book, leave me a comment and answer this question: What's something about you that no one would guess from looking at you?

*This review was brought to you by Mother-Talk.

Comments

[Patty]

That I used to be a lot of fun??? That was prior to being a wife and mom - now it seems I'm just the 'officer' and the 'nag'. Ha.

[Eryn]

People still never believe that I have THREE children. They are shocked when I tell them, maybe because they only see me with one.

[fairly odd mother]

No one would guess that, in my head, I say fuckity fuck fuck every two seconds. Like, "what the fuck is that kid fucking calling me for; I just fucking got them a drink a fucking minute ago!" Thankfully I only say fuck out loud when things get really tense, so I don't have a whole bunch of little fucks in the house. And, motherfucker is my favorite word of all time but, again, I keep that between me, myself and I.

Wow, this felt so good to write.

[Heather]

Great post! The book sounds really interesting and perhaps I could gain some refinement from it?

To answer your question, people wouldn't guess from looking at me that I am not a Gap mom, that I drop the F-bomb, and that I fart in front of my husband. Everyone's first impression of me is that I'm this super stereotypical southern belle who shops at all of the right places. snort. Boy are they surprised when they get to know the real me.

[krista]

Hmmm, I have good luck with your contests I think... Maybe luck will strike me twice. Something about me you wouldn't know by looking at me:

I have a psychiatric disability.

[ktjrdn]

I DO own some make-up. It's, um, somewhere. uh, I think I could find it if I had to.

[nyjlm]

I used to be a super-cool city hipster type. Now I'm a rural living, Wal-Mart shopping (not by choice but availability) station wagon driver.

sigh.

[MamaKaren]

one thing that no one believes about me is that I am very handy and love power tools. I come across as a very girly girl, but I've changed many tires, can jump start my car, worked as a sound and lighting technician in college, and have a better stocked toolbox than my husband does (I used hot pink nail polish to paint my initials on my adjustable wrench to keep him from stealing it). I was quite angry with my dad when he gave Hubby the Makita cordless drill that I'd been coveting for years.

[Jennifer]

The books sounds very interesting.

That I have only partial sight in my left eye which happened exactly 1 year to the day my daughter was born. Also, that I am an organized neat freak. My family tells me I have OCD. I don't look like I am unless you come to my house or unless you work with me.

[Awesome Mom]

It sure does seem like an interesting book.

One thing that you would not guess by looking at me is that I can swear like a sailor. I like to keep that skill under wraps since when I do bust out with the f bomb it has more impact.

[Katherine]

Hmmm. I live in a large metropolitan city, co-own an executive consulting firm, look like a city girl, and dress up my daughter (1.5 yrs) in cute/cool clothes. What you wouldn't know is that I actually grew up on a dairy farm and spent lots of time shoveling manure, milking cows, giving shots, and driving a tractor; and I enjoyed it. Well, not all of it - I could do without the manure getting stuck in my hair! I guess I will always be a country girl at heart even if I carry around a blackberry.

[picklemommy]

I have degenerative disc disease, and have lived with chronic pain every day for the last 23 years...I am almost 37.

[Kristin]

New acquaintances who visit our home are always surprised (and sometimes mildly uncomfortable with the fact that) the electric guitar in the living room is mine, not my husband's. As soon as they see it, they ask my husband "how long have you been playing?" Their surprise that I'm the owner wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't so often accompanied with comments like, "how cute!" *gag*

[CPA Mom]

No one would ever know that I have a serious auto-immune disease that requires me to carry a card that says " I CAN'T WAIT...the bearer of this card has a medical condition that requires her to use the bathroom facilities urgently. Thanks for your help and understanding."

Seriously.

And, I'm a damn good shot with my .22 (hollow tip points)

[how to beat a drug test]

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