Letting Our Kids Just Be Kids

I'm the last person you have to convince about the value of play, physical activity, and free time for children. Seriously -- that's my parenting mantra. Well sort of.

But with a plethora of structured activities for the toddler set, children getting tested just to get on a waiting list for preschools, elementary schools getting rid of recess and other creative programming, I'm thinking there are lots of parents that do need some help in letting their kids be kids.

And that's what Rae Pica's new book A Running Start; does -- in a fairly gentle and encouraging manner, mind you. Not one ounce of guilt to be found. Just good solid research and support.

Hooray for that, right?

I found myself nodding my head so hard it hurt, and really, the book does a lot of convincing (maybe a little too much). Rae talks extensively about the value of the act of "doing" and "playing" for children in a non-structured and creative environment. We're often fooled by new and exciting television shows, video games, and computer programs, when really, good old fashioned blocks, dress-up, tag, and whatever else WE used to do as kids is better.

Rae explores our standards for "smart" as well as whether our children are getting enough "free play" time at school (chances are they are not). And I love her section on how and when to choose the right structured program for your children. She talks about teaching compassion as opposed to competition and fostering imagination in our children, but most of all, she says "family first" - play games together, pretend together, and be together.

This book is a calling for all of us to slow down -- to turn off the boob tube -- and the computer -- and be with our children. It's a calling for us to let them play as children like to play as means for them to learn, explore, and grow.

And it's about believing that smart isn't just about the books and tests and ivy league schools. Smart is letting kids be kids.

--

If you'd like to win a copy of this book (maybe there's a competimommy that you could slip it to), then write down your favorite family game or play activity in the comments. I'll pick a winner tomorrow afternoon at random.

Comments

[Nancy]

My kids love the game Hungry Hungry Hippos. They will play for hours and the whole family gets a laugh out of it. (The little one does like to cheat, though.) ;-)

[Tater and Tot]

I couldn't have said it better myself.

I love dress-up. It was my favorite as a youngster, and I love when my girls put on their fairy wings and tiaras and high heels and tutus and tell me the stories about who they are and what they are doing. There is nothing like my girls just being girls!

[Wendy]

I agree. I have decided that my children will have one structured activity outside of school. My almost 5 yr old daughter is in dance class once a week. That is enough for her and for me. And when dance class ends with the school year we will be go to swimming lessons, which is dad game. I refused to have the same people see me in a swimsuit week after week.

Other parents are puzzled when I tell them that my child will not be going to summer camp. 1. I am a SAHM, why should I send my daughter to summer camp? 2. I think my daughter needs the lazy days of summer and so do the rest of us.

My hopes for this summer are: staying up late with daughter falling asleep on the sofa, time at the park or just outside, trips to the aquarium and zoo, making a mess outside, or just laying on the sofa watching cartoons all day. I think after being structured for 9 months we all need a little break.

I use to feel guilty that my daughter didnt have more friends or playdates when she was a toddler, but really do toddlers really play with each or just steal toys? I dont have that problem with my son. We may start a Gymrompers class next fall, when sister is in school, or not. We will see how it goes.

[Eryn]

This sounds like my kind of book. Our new favorite activity is gardening. My daughter has a plant, which she has named "Baby Pepper".
(yes, it's a small pepper plant) We let her plant baby pepper in the garden and we go and visit her and feed her daily. It's amazing how special something so simple can be. I'm learning that theres much more learning in the everyday activities and playtimes then you realize. You don't need fancy toys or computer games to teach a child, just an imagination.

[Jennifer]

My son loves to play with a bucket of water and a pastry brush. He paints the sidewalk, house, chairs, me...it's hours of pure enjoyment.

[Kara]

We've done the paint brush and water thing too! Always a winner!

Our current favorite activity is art (although that's likely to change with the better weather!) We have a kid-height drawer full of paper, markers (washable), glitter glue, scissors (safety), stencils, stickers... you name it. And the obligatory roll of tape for hanging the creations on the fridge. Sometimes we'll forget all that stuff and opt for a coloring book and some crayons while flopped on the living room floor. There's nothing better than a fresh box of crayons!

[Esther]

My son's new favorite toy is the salad spinner. I had forgotten about this "must have" item from my wedding registry until he discovered it in the back of a closet. He puts things in it and pushes the big button on top to make it spin. He takes it apart and puts it back together. He gets me to push the button too. Like water and a brush it is hours of entertainment. That and chasing the cat.

[beth]

hi Kristen - our favorite activity of the moment (my son is 3 1/2) is playing race cars or rocket ships - whereby we race around with real (or imaginary) toys in our hands; all over the floor, the sofa and his bed. its a lot of fun.

[JenniferB]

I bought watercolors, washable markers, pompoms, color pencils, construction paper, and a ream of white paper, and keep all of it, with glue and scissors, in a box, handy. We get that stuff out, and sequins, whatever we can find, and begin. Sometimes my girls will come find me and they will have created menus, and the food to go with it. Other times it's cards and paintings they want to send to relatives that live far away. It's always fun to delve into their imaginations this way.

[LisaV]

Wow! This sounds like a really great book. One of my daughter's (21 months) and mine's favorite activity is "Dance Party". Usually toward the end of the night after we've done dinner and baths I turn on the music and we let loose. It's great exercise for both of us and gives us a chance to act silly together imitating each other's moves.

[Awesome Mom]

We can spend hours just playing with our bean box (a bunch of pinto beans in a shallow storage container). Simple yet lots of fun. It sounds like this book is just our speed.

[dawnf]

HI our favorite activity for the 17 month old is chase the ducks (it pretty much describes it) the older dd likes to do chalk outside & play archeologist & dig in the dirt. My oldest likes to play basketball (11) or have jedi wars with his light sabers & nerf guns or in summer water gun wars

[dutchjess]

My 2 1/2 year-old daughter LOVES to bake brownies with Mommy. After the batter is mixed and in the oven, the soapy water and dirty dishes provide tons of splashing entertainment until the timer goes off. Then, we enjoy the brownies together at our tea party. She is so proud of herself for the sense of accomplishment! And I'm proud of her for reminding me how to have fun with "regular" life.

[Kristi A.]

Last week, before we went on vacation, I took my kids to the lake to feed the ducks. This is a cheap activity that the kids enjoy and the weather was beautiful!! I am on a tight budget so we have to think of cheap, fun things to do. This book sounds great. My best memories as a child are of playing "golf" outside. We would dig a hole, grab a big stick and hit the ball into the hole. We made our own private golf course and it was at the cost of a 97 cent ball!!! Also, hide n seek was a childhood favorite. My kids and nephew and niece play that too. Also during my childhood, we weren't allowed to play inside unless it was raining! We had no choice but to get creative.

[Jaime]

Every Sunday we eat breakfast as a family (usually something really yummy like pancakes or waffles; anything not on my diet!) and read the newspaper. We give Grace the kids page and usually the travel section. She picks out all the animals she knows and makes the appropriate sound (ex: pic of a cow brings on "Moooo"). Its simple, cheap, and can be donwright hysterical.

Of course, our other game is grocery shopping. I cut out pics of items on my list from the ads each week and she has to find them while we are at the store. Keeps her entertained and I like to think she learns something. Cost: FREE (unless you need to buy a pair of scissors for the cutting!).

[Amy]

my son (1.5 yrs) LOVES to ride on my husband's old skateboard. he sits on it and asks us to push him down the driveway, along the street, etc. we wave Hi to our neighbors, their children and their pets. it helps to get us outside and connect with our community!